A WINDOW TO MY SOUL

“Beginnings are usually scary, endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.”  ~ Hope Floats (1998)

Each and every morning while sipping copious amounts of coffee, I witness the sunrise through my gigantic, over-sized kitchen window.   The diameter of the window frame is about a foot wider than intended for my space.  Ten years sailed away before we realized our builder accidentally installed the wrong window and still have yet to remorsefully wonder who received our chintzy little one.  At times I pondered why my cabinets on that side of the kitchen were too small, and the space between the island and the stove so tight, but anyone who's built a house knows better than to ask too many questions that will inevitably end up costing extras in increments of hundreds or thousands.  So in the end, I accepted the big window glitch was simply a blessing as my breakfast area was now a room with a grand, beautiful view that was either a sailors red-sky warning or delight depending on the weather.

My breakfast table and chair are positioned directly in front of the glass as though I am about to take in a Broadway show and have the best tickets in the house.  With the aroma of coffee filling the air, I eagerly wait with anticipation for the performance to begin. Two large, backyard trees frame the stage and the bright morning sky lights it up.  Five AM in the summer and six in winter,  the curtain rises.   I'd like to say that I've  witnessed each and every show, but I don't think it would be a good thing to begin our new relationship telling fibs.  

In the northeast, we are subject to various daily weather patterns and four ever-changing seasons,  but the sun always rises over the same hilltop in the eastern sky to which my window faces.  The Lehigh River, which lays just beneath the high hills, sends a thick, obscuring mist rising upward off the early morning waters leaving everything enclasped in a cloud of white.  On other mornings, the rising sun reflects off thousands of droplets of twinkling gold across the dew-laden grass.  But the biggest tease of all is when the light will peek just over the hill with glint of a sunbeam only to be squelched out as the clouds quickly roll in along with a soaking rain.  Watching each unique sunrise is the place where I start each and every day.

It is said where our mind goes, we follow-- and I must agree.   I have found that whether we have smooth sailing or days of hardship, if we can just steer our mind to a sunny, positive place first thing in the morning, our day will have a much better start.  Sometimes I must admit that it's easier said than done when you are looking at foreboding weather and not a hint of a sunbeam is peeking through.  But  I've come to appreciate all the different types of weather and its beauty. 

A few years ago, after experiencing several, closely-timed periods of loss of loved ones, my grief-filled mornings were quite difficult for me.  After a sound and peaceful sleep, it seemed as if the moment I opened my eyes,  the ever-present flip-flop of my stomach would remind me that my parents and brother were gone.   For months, and maybe even closer to a year,  my day began this way and knew  something had to change.   Someone suggested that I try write about my family and all our good memories first thing in the morning.  I guess one might call it journaling and decided to give it a whirl.   Having never written anything longer than a junior high love note folded into a football shape, I opened up my first Word Document and started pecking away.  Although it was grammatically awful, filled with run on after run on sentence, poor comma usage and tenses that were consistently, inconsistent, I just kept my fingers moving while transcribing everything that was on my heart.   As the days went by, I poured myself into paragraph after paragraph and I made two observations.   The sunrise in all its spectacular beauty gleaming over the top of my computer inspired better writing from me and somewhere within me was a story teller trying to burst forth. 

For the past few years, I have written quite a few stories about my youth, family, and self that after some fine tuning was brave enough to share with friends on Facebook.  I was selective as to which stories I felt safe to post but have recently been feeling hindered and decided I wanted a wider audience who might not be just appeasing me to make me feel good.  Thus, the creation of my  new blog.  

My life has been a filled to the brim with all sorts of  experiences and stories that are a mixture of  insightful reflection and humor -- the good, the bad and even the ugly.   But I'm willing to share it.  I don't know if anyone will even read my blog but the fact that I've even set this up and written the first post is an encouragement to me that I've accomplished something new in my life.   And since I began this writing journey, I no longer wake up with a flip-flop in my stomach!  And if I receive nothing else from this new experience, I know that I'll always have ....   SUNLIGHT THROUGH MY WINDOW. 

I hope you find enjoyment,  encouragement, and a smile or two as I share myself with you.   Happy Reading!