As courteous as a punctual train,
April 26th arrives right on schedule just like every other day on
the calendar, but for the past 5 years I wished it was one of those off-days in
a leap year that one could simply skip over. My true desire is to run away and hide from this
day, as if by not acknowledging it I could simply make it de-rail and fade away. But I know it is not possible.
From the first day of April, I hear the distant
sound of the whistle alerting me that the train is on its’ way and soon destined
to arrive in the station of my most vulnerable heart. As the weeks go by, my thoughts are many and
varied swinging between sadness and the celebration of a life knowing I must prepare for the
day when the train arrives. There will
be heavy baggage I must lift that day accompanied by tears of sadness mixed
with waves of happiness knowing the passenger has safely arrived at his destination. So, I bravely greet this day knowing one day
I will also ride the heavenly locomotive with my brother, Jim. As I stand ready and waiting on life’s platform,
the door of the passenger car opens and instantly, my mind is flooded with every
great and funny memory of my brother and decide that starting today, I must no
longer wish this day away, but embrace it. There are just too many happy thoughts of our
family life spent with him to allow his passing to overtake this precious gift
of today.
I have not worked on my family tree for a few years but today, revisited it and decided that starting this year, April 26th will no longer be remembered only as the day my brother, Jim left us, but it will also be commemorated by me as the day I gave
my amazing brother his proudly-earned leaf on the Kirk Family Tree—a place of honor that everyone in our clan, whom I have ever loved and lost, has already received. A place where, generations from now, his life story will hopefully, have better clarity to those who have never met him but only wish I could do more justice to honor his life than the amateur scribbles artlessly penned by me.
For the last decade, I have
been working on the Kirk family tree. What began as curiosity has now become a living memorial and found that
each person on this tree gives meaning to our life now. Entire generations have come and gone, but every
one of our ancestors’ genes is in us and a part of us. Often while researching my distant
grandparents, I wondered about their life, what they were like, did we look
like them or even inherit their personalities?
There will come a day when we will all pass away and become a leaf on
the Kirk tree. But today, it is my hope
to document and give tribute to Jim for future generations to know all about
him. The most important thing I have learned as a genealogist is that we live as long as we are remembered. So, what things do I remember about my brother
Jim and which traits did he inherit from our ancestors?
A German immigrant, our Great
Grandfather Balbach was an engineer who also built homes around Swissvale and
Wilkinsburg in the 1930’s. I believe Jim
inherited many of his mechanical abilities.
We had a summer cottage up in the Laurel mountains and had fun riding minibikes
all summer up and down the country roads. Our dad gave Jimbo the job of keeping the bikes
up and running for all of us and he accepted this responsibility. Another
example is that when visiting Jim years ago in Florida, he took me to his
business to show me around and I was amazed at a machine that he built out of
necessity from scratch that was necessary for production.
Speaking of businesses, our
Grandfather and Grandmother Kirk owned and operated a successful and prosperous
one for over 40 years in the Pittsburgh area.
I’d like to believe that Jim received from them this ability, drive and
focus needed to create his own company as he became founder and CEO of Environmental
Graphics—EGI for short. He demonstrated great
confidence and poise engaging with numerous customers and was known to be a
very kind and generous boss to his loyal employees. Held in great respect by the many who worked
for him, they counted him as a life-long friend. Despite enduring the difficult side effects of
his cancer treatments, he doggedly ran the company knowing so many depended on the
success of the business for their jobs. A
true leader, indeed!
Our Great grandfather Kirk and
his brother in-law were also founders and leaders in their own time as well as avid outdoorsmen who loved to hunt
and fish. According to family urban legend, on a hunting expedition long ago, they bagged the largest ram which was on display in the Bronx Museum in NY. Because of their love of nature and wildlife,
they both were founding members of the PA Wildlife Commission and Boys Scouts
of America and I can only imagine that this is where
Jim inherited his love of fishing and wildlife exploration. As a boy, he would often lead me, Harry and
Paul deep in the woods behind our cabin where there were many creeks and streams
and would often find him overturning rocks looking for salamanders, snakes, and
crawfish. Incredibly, once he caught a
chipmunk with a cereal bowl! Another
time he hit what was thought to look like a white ball with a baseball bat only
to be chased out of the woods by a swarm of angry hornets. But despite his childhood mischievous moments
that we all have gravitated to from time to time, he was exceptionally responsible
just like our dad.
Taking good care of our family
as the original Mr. Mom, our dad was incredible and a great provider. Nothing was beneath him—neither vacuuming,
dishes nor laundry. If there were things
needing to be done around the house, our dad “made things happen” and Jim followed
right along in his steps. In a busy household
where both he and Diane worked full time, he always stepped up to make sure
things were going well around their home. Just as
our dad set the example that there was no such thing as a man’s work or women’s work
– just family work, Jim also did what was needed to make for a wonderful life and
home for Diane and James. And while our
dad was the flamboyant one of the family, our mom was the opposite in
personality and Jim was just like her.
Quiet and kind, our mom worked
hard to help provide for our family while teaching school for 30 years, all
the while making it look easy. She
never complained how hard it was to be a full-time teacher, wife and mom of 4
active and busy children. This was Jim’s
personality to a tee. The most kind and
caring person you would want to know. Ever.
Creating and running a business, being a
husband and dad took so much of his time, and yet he also made it look so easy. Never one to like discord, he
always had the ability to keep his cool and demonstrated tremendous insight in every
and all situations. It was hard to
ruffle his feathers and if ever there was a peacemaker, it was Jim. But on the athletic field he was a different
person. Built just like our Grandfather
Carr, he was a competitor.
A small framed Irishman and amateur
boxer when not working as a steelworker for Edgar Thomsan Works in Pittsburgh,
our Pap Pap Carr was small, wirey and athletic. It was not surprising to see that my brother inherited his grandfather's athletic genes. Jim
loved basketball, was quick and fast and while standing only 5' 9” could easily dunk a
basketball. Along with agility, there was a
bit of a dare devil in him and a love for motorcycles. He and his friends could be found doing crazy
things that would stop a mother’s heart if only she knew what they were up to. Later in life, he would give up his Harley
after a car accident left his ankle permanently injured, but his love of sports could never be taken away—especially
of the Steelers and his life-long love of Penguin’s Ice Hockey and the special
bond it held between him and his son James.
Being an athlete, he knew you could never quit in the middle of the
season and true to form, he hung on during his hard fight with cancer until the
Pens played their final game of the season of 2015. Which brings us to bravery.
In 1790, our distant
grandparents left their family home in Ireland and others in the 1920’s from
Germany to come to America. They left
behind all that they knew and loved in hopes of making a better life for their
families. They had vision and tenacity
to say goodbye to all they loved and make a new life in a new place. Jimbo
and Diane did just that. They said
goodbye to family and friends in the north and Florida became their new home
where together they created a wonderful
life with their son, James.
All these amazing traits were genetically
infused into this amazing man. But I
can’t only paint a perfect little picture of Saint Jimbo. Truth be told, he was just a regular boy and
man’s kind of man. He forged lifelong friendships with those he
truly valued-- and they played hard and lived life to the extremes. Always
ready for a good party along with a few beers – drinking it in true Kirk-Style from
the side corner of the mouth—he had zest for life and living.
A great
brother who was a lot of fun, he did silly things like scare the bajezus out of
our youngest brother Paul, who was often the go-to for
childhood pranks. Knowing Paul was terrified of
Bigfoot, Jim took great pleasure in pretending to hear the creature coming up
the hall steps just before Paul would go to sleep at night. Oh, there were also the traditional childhood
bristles between us due to decapitated baby dolls or little brothers who wanted
to tag along with Jim and his older friends, but in the end, we were always and still remained the 4 Musketeers and the very best of friends. Harry
and he spent years together at Clarion while Jim was a student despite Harry never being admitted for
classes. It was simply a means to get away from home for the weekend where he and Jim would bond
together for 4 years. Still too young to hang with them at college, Paul would eventually catch up and always
remain his little bro' for life. And I, having
long forgiven him for cutting Midges hair that memorable Christmas morning, hold
only the fondest of memories a sister could ever have of this very special grandson,
son, brother, husband, father and man.
Today, April 26th, I proudly give James Finch Kirk III the honor of his leaf on our tree. A place where his story will be re-told and
remembered forever ~
Family Tree
There’s love within
our family tree
and happiness
abound.
Our roots are
deeply planted
in rich and fertile
ground.
We enjoy the rays
of sunlight,
and endure the
winds and rain,
and when a leaf
falls from our tree,
together we share the pain.
God gave us earthly families
and never did
intend,
that bonds of love
built on Earth,
upon our death
should end.
For when our life
is over
and from earth our
souls will flee,
one by one, leaf
by leaf
He’ll rejoin our
family tree.
~James
Tramner
